Look, I don’t do this, so I’m not sure what you’re expecting. They want me to write something warm and heartfelt, but I’d rather chill with you over a cocktail and a campfire. The first “About Us” on the website, I took something that was written about us and changed all the words that said “salon” to the word “pizza.” Everyone was confused, but all I could think was, “Who the fuck reads a salon About Us page?”

So, here we go...

Melrose & McQueen will henceforth be referred to as MMQ.

Everyone wants to know where the name came from. Well, I cut my teeth, as they say, on Melrose Ave in Los Angeles. I learned there that all types of people were to coexist respectfully. As a Hot Topic card-carrying member in 2006, that was something I valued. Alexander McQueen was someone I had always looked up to, prior to doing hair — which was a weird conversation to have at a house party in East L.A. with a group of cholos. Alexander McQueen, as an artist, creator, and activist, was everything I wanted to be. Together, it felt like it described the type of place I wanted to work in. Pretty simple.

MMQ started because we wanted to work late, serve cocktails, and play DMX at nine a.m. Also, if we heard another edited rap song, I was going to kick a baby. We all know the lyrics to Gin & Juice — stop lying to us. We all know what Snoop Dogg wanted to say. I didn’t think I was special compared to anyone else, but I didn’t know hairdressers felt the same way I felt. I conceptualized MMQ with the idea: “If you build it, they will come.”

We could say our quality coffee creamer is what makes us special. We could say it’s our music playlist. We could say it’s our wall art and murals. We could say it’s our open bar. We WILL say our company culture is the thing that we are most proud of and what sets us apart from other hair salons: a group of individuals equally committed to their craft as much as they’re committed to the guest experience.

Also, the Old Fashioned is good.

If you’re reading this, I’m already dead. JK. If you’re reading this, you’re already in one of our shops, and hopefully enjoying yourself. But if you’re not, remember this: you’ve never seen someone angry on roller skates. So maybe you need a pair of roller skates — or a cocktail. Just ask someone at the bar. We got you!

Bye ...